In a move that surprised absolutely no-one, the Government today decided that fucking up the current economy just wasn't enough - they needed to find a way to balls it up for future generations, too.
"We suddenly realised that all these ex-bankers were just sitting around and mostly wanking themselves silly," said professional Prime Minister impersonator Gordon Brown. "We all thought that it seemed such a waste of all those destructive tendencies which they'd been exercising for so long. Then I thought, "I know, teaching. That's not really a proper job, it it? I mean, look at all the holidays they get. We should get some of those poor unfortunate banking types a couple of cushy teaching posts. They'd love that." Everyone else thought this was brills and that I was the bestest for even thinking of it. Which I suppose I am."
The new proposal involves reducing teacher training to six months in an effort to appeal to City types with the attention span of a fruitfly; however, this could be reduced even further if you're willing to inject some cash into the economy. Offers start at 70 quid but if you're willing to bail out a national bank, that would be smashing, too.
(Yeah, I've been reading The Daily Mash a bit too much recently. I'm starting to think in their stories... and am a bit surprised they haven't done this one.)