Editor's Note:- A few days back, I threw down the gauntlet and asked you to send your submissions for a guest blog. Well, in the intervening days, I have been positively deluged by submissions...and here it is. Yep, the only one who stepped up and threw down some wordage was Anna Russell * (who seems to be slowly but surely guest blogging her way around the blogosphere**). So, without any further ado, here is her (frighteningly accurate) post giving you a hitherto unseen insight into the life of your humble narrator...
"You may think you know Mr the Fella. By day he is a blogging film maker, filming himself blogging, then blogging about filming himself blogging, then going to the pub. But that’s not all there is to him, oh no. For Mr the Fella has a secret identity, one I shall reveal to you here.
By night, Mr the Fella is…
Defender of the weak and the innocent on the mean streets of London, Tarquin Wonderstorm bravely misses Eastenders to protect the city’s residents.
Costume: The cloak of a Pearly King. And a magnificent head of hair. Like a lion’s mane, only magnificenter.
Weapons: A goatee that shoots paralysing poison into the eyes of his foes. A lasso of electrified jellied eels.
Catchphrase: Gawd luv a duck, yer nicked!
Sidekick: Dick Van Dyke, who has a large and deadly broom. Ahem.
Nemeses (nemesii?): Dirty Den, Boris Johnson. Both have been foiled in their evil schemes many a time buy our Tarquin. Although Johnson did seem suspiciously fond of the eel treatment. Allegedly.
Love interest: Audrey Tatou. When he wins a fight, she tilts her head to one side and looks adorable, giving him a reason to keep fighting the good fight.
Theme song: My Old Man’s A Dustman.
So remember, good people of London, Tarquin Wonderstorm is out there keeping you safe.
No need to thank him, it’s just what he does."
Editor's Endnote:- I'm a little startled. My secret is revealed. The cockney world may well be in deadly peril...
*http://ramblyrambly.blogspot.com/ Fear not, though, if you still want to guest blog, there is still time to send me something. All the time in the world.... I only put a deadline on it to get arses in gear.
** Apparently, that's a word that people use. Hateful sounding, isn't it?