Friday, 13 March 2009

Guest Blog - A Fella Revealed...

Editor's Note:- A few days back, I threw down the gauntlet and asked you to send your submissions for a guest blog. Well, in the intervening days, I have been positively deluged by submissions...and here it is. Yep, the only one who stepped up and threw down some wordage was Anna Russell * (who seems to be slowly but surely guest blogging her way around the blogosphere**). So, without any further ado, here is her (frighteningly accurate) post giving you a hitherto unseen insight into the life of your humble narrator...

"You may think you know Mr the Fella. By day he is a blogging film maker, filming himself blogging, then blogging about filming himself blogging, then going to the pub. But that’s not all there is to him, oh no. For Mr the Fella has a secret identity, one I shall reveal to you here.

By night, Mr the Fella is…


Defender of the weak and the innocent on the mean streets of London, Tarquin Wonderstorm bravely misses Eastenders to protect the city’s residents.

The cloak of a Pearly King. And a magnificent head of hair. Like a lion’s mane, only magnificenter.

A goatee that shoots paralysing poison into the eyes of his foes. A lasso of electrified jellied eels.

Gawd luv a duck, yer nicked!

Dick Van Dyke, who has a large and deadly broom. Ahem.

Nemeses (nemesii?): Dirty Den, Boris Johnson. Both have been foiled in their evil schemes many a time buy our Tarquin. Although Johnson did seem suspiciously fond of the eel treatment. Allegedly.

Love interest:
Audrey Tatou. When he wins a fight, she tilts her head to one side and looks adorable, giving him a reason to keep fighting the good fight.

Theme song:
My Old Man’s A Dustman.

So remember, good people of London, Tarquin Wonderstorm is out there keeping you safe.

No need to thank him, it’s just what he does."

Editor's Endnote:- I'm a little startled. My secret is revealed. The cockney world may well be in deadly peril...

* Fear not, though, if you still want to guest blog, there is still time to send me something. All the time in the world.... I only put a deadline on it to get arses in gear.

** Apparently, that's a word that people use. Hateful sounding, isn't it?


Anna Russell said...

I just can't take my eyes off your new pic long enough to comment Mr Wonderstorm.

Tarquin Wonderstorm said...

Ah yes, back in the day before I was eaten by a fatter, balder man

Diane said...

Wow... and I didn't think I could like you more. I'm positively swooning. Mr. Wonderstorm is Wonderful!

Kurt said...

I'm pretty sure most of this is in Spanish because I'm an American, but I DO know I would fight any number of evil things for an Audrey Tatou head-tilt.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

I knew you looked familiar!

bonnie-ann black said...

i was recently in london, and just kept missing Mr. Wonderstorm's appearances... everywhere i went, someone said, "Mr. Wonderstorm was just here!" or "oh, you just missed Wonderstorm!" and oxford circus was all abuzz with his heroic saving of the M&S cosmetics girl, who was menaced by the evil, english hating, cudgel wielding Dynomo (don't ask me, that's how he spells it). but of course, we missed it anyway.

my word is "shanct" which is just how i felt each time i missed the appearance of Tarquin Wonderstorm.

Belle said...

I have a seven single that my mother-in-law gave me of My Old Man's A Dustman.
I'm going to send it to Tarquin.

Tarquin Wonderstorm said...

Diane - The Wonderstorm is as the Wonderstorm does (I don't know what that means but it sounds cool).

Kurt - The Tatou head-tilt shall be mine, sir, oh yes, it shall be mine...

Sarah - I just had that kind of face thirteen years ago.

Bonnie-Ann - Never fear for the Wonderstorm is here. He is always here. Except when he's there.

Belle - I'll unpack the gorblimey trousers. And move to a council flat.

Vic said...

Cor blimey! (Never did know what that means but it sounds like something Tarquin's granny might say.)

That Baldy Fella said...

I would also have accepted "Blinking flip!" or "Crikey O'Reilly!"