Friday 27 March 2009

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

OK, one last repost. I promise you'll get some new stuff next week..


Dear Budding Evil Genius,

Below is a basic checklist to help your scheme for world domination run smoothly and without interference from a suave, clean-cut intelligence agent with a drink problem or a do-gooder in long, brightly-coloured underwear. Make sure you have the following items in place before your scheme begins and soon the world should be yours, all yours


1. Endless supply of disposable minions in matching jumpsuits
2. Razor for keeping baldy head nice and shiny
3. White cat
4. Humming Brazilian marching ants (optional)
5. Henchman with ridiculously inconvenient gimmicky weapon
6. Your own multi-national company to fund expensive lasers and endless supply of minions
7. Winged monkeys for entertainment purposes
8. Patented diabolical laugh / sneer combo
9. Laboratory with bubbling test tubes and one of those machines that crackles up and down with static electricity
10. Tendency to talk in monologues (and finish off with number 8)
11. Preference for wearing black
12. A goatee or a scar (or both)
13. Plentiful supply of nemesis-killing materials and a willingness to use them
14. Overlarge decorative aquarium for pet sharks (also useful for nemesis devouring - multi-functional)
15. Secret headquarters hidden in a volcano or an orbiting space station or in a parallel dimension


- Extract from That Baldy Fella’s Big Bad Book of Supervillains (2006)

3 comments:

Anna Russell said...

Where did you find my shopping list? Oh, must add - alliterative name.

I reposted today too. It does come in handy.

Pearl said...

Sounds perfectly diabolical.

Pearl

That Baldy Fella said...

Anna - Damn, missed alliterative name. Schoolboy error.

Pearl - And soon, it will all be mine. Mine, I tell you!