Item One....

(A Brief Plug Before We Go Any Further:- Today, you are fortunate to be receiving a double dose of Baldy goodness. Yes, there's not just one but two blog posts from me today. There's this one which you're reading right here, certainly, but if you take a wander over to My Telephone Booth where the lovely TishTash normally holds court, you will find a guest post from yours truly while she's away sunning herself on hols. Go and have a look and, while you're there, read some of her stuff, too. She's bloody funny. Also, that isn't going to be my only guest post this week. Your humble narrator is in high demand this week. Watch this space. Anyhoo, on with today's inanity...)

Lists. We all love a list. Go on, you know do. They're a great way to keep track of all that stuff that would otherwise fall in between all the gap-like bits of the brain (stop me if I'm getting too technical, there as I learned everything I needed to know about brainology from Steve Martin in The Man With Two Brains - you know, back when he was funny). It's important to make sure that you're listing the right things, though. Using the medium of the list itself, I shall outline some things which are desirable to list and somethings which aren't. First off, the good kind of lists:-

• Films what you have got to watch
• Books what you would like to read
• Exotic places you have visited
• Comics missing from your collection*
• Reasons To Be Cheerful (1,2,3)
• Things that made you smile yesterday

Of course, for every yin, there is a yang, for every Holmes, there is a Moriarty, for every Kirk, there is a Khan**, so in the interest of balance, here's the things that really don't deserve listing:-

• Films starring yourself and a jar of hand cream that you plan to make
• Exotic diseases that you have
• Exotic diseases you would like
• Exotic diseases you have spread
• Reasons to be arrested. Again
• Things that made you smile yesterday in an extremely creepy way that adds to the "Reasons to be arrested" list

Lists. Use them wisely, my young friends, and they shall bring you much joy. Use them foolishly and they can be used as evidence in a court of law. Hypothetically speaking, of course.... OK, so my case is due up on Thursday. I usually get let off with warning, though, so that's OK. (What? Blogs are admissible as evidence? Dang.)


* A standard part of the nerd armoury, this should be carried upon the person at all times on the off-chance that you stumble upon a hitherto undiscovered comicarium and it should happen to have that issue of Doom Patrol you've never been able to find.

** Altogether now:- "Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!"