Monday, 18 May 2009

Item One....

(A Brief Plug Before We Go Any Further:- Today, you are fortunate to be receiving a double dose of Baldy goodness. Yes, there's not just one but two blog posts from me today. There's this one which you're reading right here, certainly, but if you take a wander over to My Telephone Booth where the lovely TishTash normally holds court, you will find a guest post from yours truly while she's away sunning herself on hols. Go and have a look and, while you're there, read some of her stuff, too. She's bloody funny. Also, that isn't going to be my only guest post this week. Your humble narrator is in high demand this week. Watch this space. Anyhoo, on with today's inanity...)

Lists. We all love a list. Go on, you know do. They're a great way to keep track of all that stuff that would otherwise fall in between all the gap-like bits of the brain (stop me if I'm getting too technical, there as I learned everything I needed to know about brainology from Steve Martin in The Man With Two Brains - you know, back when he was funny). It's important to make sure that you're listing the right things, though. Using the medium of the list itself, I shall outline some things which are desirable to list and somethings which aren't. First off, the good kind of lists:-
  • Films what you have got to watch
  • Books what you would like to read
  • Exotic places you have visited
  • Comics missing from your collection*
  • Reasons To Be Cheerful (1,2,3)
  • Things that made you smile yesterday

Of course, for every yin, there is a yang, for every Holmes, there is a Moriarty, for every Kirk, there is a Khan**, so in the interest of balance, here's the things that really don't deserve listing:-
  • Films starring yourself and a jar of hand cream that you plan to make
  • Exotic diseases that you have
  • Exotic diseases you would like
  • Exotic diseases you have spread
  • Reasons to be arrested. Again
  • Things that made you smile yesterday in an extremely creepy way that adds to the "Reasons to be arrested" list

Lists. Use them wisely, my young friends, and they shall bring you much joy. Use them foolishly and they can be used as evidence in a court of law. Hypothetically speaking, of course.... OK, so my case is due up on Thursday. I usually get let off with warning, though, so that's OK. (What? Blogs are admissible as evidence? Dang.)

* A standard part of the nerd armoury, this should be carried upon the person at all times on the off-chance that you stumble upon a hitherto undiscovered comicarium and it should happen to have that issue of Doom Patrol you've never been able to find.

** Altogether now:- "Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!"


SweetPeaSurry said...

Heh ... good posting. Ya bettah watch out though, as one of my items to do over the next several months is to document my entire book collection, and I'll tell ya ... that'll be quite the list!!! List EXTRAORIDINAIRE!!!

I don't think I have a list of what 'exotic' diseases I would like, so that's off the table ... lists lists and more lists!!! WEET!!!


That Baldy Fella said...

Good Lord, I can't imagine attempting that. My list of DVDs and books that I won but still need to read/watch is long enough without listing all of the buggers!

kapgaf said...

"Comics" can of course be replaced by any object / reading matter / film / whatever missing from a collection.

You forgot the most important list of all : the list of your lists, which of course helps you ensure that not only nothing is forgotten from your list but also that no list is forgotten...

And I can't believe that no one commented on your "Things that made you smile yesterday" post. Either they're lazy sods or they didn't smile the day before. I smiled yesterday
- having a lie-in 'til 8.30 a.m.
- making multi-coloured cupcakes (it's a bit fiddly but the results are spectacular)
- a phone call from my husband
- a silly "thank you" e-mail from a friend
- a dog peeing on a woman's leg
- etc.

That Baldy Fella said...

But the post is a list of lists. If I added a list of lists to a list of lists, Blogger will implode.

Ah, the reason there are no comments is because that was back in the day when hardly anyone (or even no-one) was reading. There's loads of posts sat back there, all unread and lonely...

Good smile list, by the way.