Thursday, 5 February 2009


Firstly, a bit of housekeeping - I invited captions the other day and, in the excitement of mucking about with weather, I completely forgot to announce the winner. It was a tough choice and there were some solid entries; in my book, you're all winners (which is that wishy-washy sort of phrase you get nowadays when someone's too spineless to say, "I liked one better than the others and I don't want the rest to feel that they're losers. Even though they are.").

And the winner is....

The Masked Philosopher with "Wow, the Pet Shop Boys have really let themselves go....". Well done, squire (and don't worry, I didn't find the first one offensive - Monty Python references are never offensive...)

And now on to today's entry. I'm continuing the theme of being lazy this week and am going to steal ideas for my own blog from other people. First up, one from TrodoMcCracken and Brandy Rose - The Urban Dictionary.

Here's the idea:-

Go to and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write in one definition it gives you.

Easy. Let's get going, shall we?

1. Your Name: Nick

"the most amazing person alive with a huge penis"

So a pretty standard start then.

2. Your age: 32

"a person who has school smarts, but in real life is fucking dumbshit."

Actually, now we're getting more like it. (I'm also beginning to notice that capital letters seem to be sparingly used on this site.)

3. One of your friends: Simon

"Of Simon and Garfunkel, the one that is not Garfunkel"

That has, at last, cleared up one of the longer standing mysteries of the universe for me.

4. Admirer: Evangeline Lilly (What? She just doesn't know it yet. She would be if she met me.)

"The highest source of heat on the planet Earth after the Sun. "
I stood next to Evangeline Lilly on the subway, and got a bad sunburn.

Yeah, she is nice. Mmmmm, Evangeline Lilly.

5. Favourite colour: Blue

"The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers. "
The sky is blue.

Well, I can't really argue with that, to be honest.

6. Birth place: Greenwich

"Greenwich (UK) is a Borough in South East London, which is famous for Greenwich Mean Time The former Royal Naval College, The National Maritime Museum and Greenwich Town centre (among Other Things). Despite the borough's significant place in British naval and scientific heritage, it is one of the most deprived areas of London."
Greenwich is one of the most deprived broughs of The East Thames Corridor.

That's one of the few entries on there to refer to proper Greenwich, you know, the one where the time is made; not this other place that they all seem to be banging all on about in somewhere called Connecticut. And even then it's derogatory. And they can't even spell borough correctly in their example. I've a good mind to write a strongly worded missive of complaint. If only I wasn't too deprived to be able to afford pen and paper.

7. Month of your birthday: June

"1. The sixth month.
2. In Japan, an early publication featuring male/male stories in the tanbi style. People used to refer to the category of male/male relationships targeted at the female audience as June, but since that was a trade name for a magazine, that meaning of the term has fallen into disuse. The category has evolved and changed so much and the types of stories so varied that the entire category is now called BL by the industry and most fans. In some places, including Comiket, original stories are still called 'sousaku (original) June'. "
1. My birthday is in June.

2. June is a thing of the past...

You learn something new (and fairly odd) every day...

8. The last person you talked to: Bruv

"A word used by mainly South Londoners. It's the shorter version of 'bruvva' which is a slang variation of 'brother' "
Ez mate. You alright, bruv?

Well, I'm from South London and he's technically actually my bruvva so, yes, spot on.

9. Nickname: Baldy

"noun: person with no hair; excessive foreskin"
That fool reminds me of that dimwit Baldy.

Right, that's it, Urban Dictionary, it's gone too far. It started off so well with all the penis flattery and whatnot but now it's descended into rudenesses about a chap's shiny pate. I'm going to have to ask you to step outside the intarwebs for fisticuffs. Have at thee!


TrodoMcCracken said...

Now that I know you have an excessive foreskin I can never look you in the eyes again. Awkward.

Diane said...

You could have gone with the 'excessive foreskin' definition instead of the 'no hair' thing. But I'm not actually sure that's better... you know, living in the land of circumcision, as I do ;)

Anna Russell said...

Excessive foreskin. Excessive foreskin. You didn't honestly think any of us would let that one pass did you?

Excessive foreskin.

Anna xxx

That Baldy Fella said...

I'm sensing a theme in the responses to this post. Dirty girls.

Belle said...

Excessive Foreskin. What do you do with it? Pick your nose?

That Baldy Fella said...

I might have guessed you'd go straight to the foreskin. Hmmm, might need to work on that phrasing...