Clump Bump Stumble

I'm a naturally ungainly person. I am one of those people who is unaware of the shape and size of their own body and thus is fairly frequently stumbling, bumping, knocking or dropping - any of the standard actions that may lead to inadvertent injury or breakage. As far as I can recall, I have always been this way - never a creature of infinite grace, always the bumbling oaf.

Such is the way of things. With great size comes great awkwardness and a tendency to knock over your glass. It's a trade off and I'm happy to accept it. I like being tall and broad. I can reach things on high shelves. People can spot me in a crowded room (an effect that is doubled by the shiny reflective surface perched atop the cranium). I'm rarely overlooked. Of course, it doesn't always have its advantages - I'd prefer not to spend flights with my knees round my ears and crowded tube journeys with my head cocked at a forty five degree angle - but I'll take tall and ungainly over short and graceful. No offence to any of you short-arses; just personal preference, really.

Still, I really wish I hadn't dropped my iPod on the train platform. It's got a horrible dent in the corner now...

Speaking of commuting (nice segueway, Nick, thank you, Nick), apparently, over in that there New York on the other side of the big wet oceany thing, it was No Pants Day on the subway. Now, I'm all for people wondering about in their undercrackers as much as the next person but, quite frankly, it's far too cold for those kind of shenanigans. Couldn't it wait til summer? Hmm, actually, on second thought, I don't think I'd particularly want to be on a subway train full of sweaty crotches being gently aired. Think I'll stick to the traditional trouser-on commute, thank you very much.

Also, in the news today, for the twentieth day in the row if you live in the UK, is the top story that it's been snowing and is still a bit cold. I'm beginning to think that we as a nation place too much importance on the weather as a source of news. Too cold, too hot, too wet, too dry - it all gets reported in an utterly overblown manner. Can we get back to some actual news events sometime soon, please? I'm pretty sure there must be more going on than "It's snow"....