Friday, 26 June 2009

The New Chuck Norris?

You remember those Chuck Norris facts that used to do the rounds a while back? Well, Twitter recently attempted to create the same sort of thing for the world's explodiest film director, Michael Bay. Here are some of the top results:-

- Michael Bay once made an explosion so big it never went out - we now call it the sun

- Michael Bay wears special glasses which help him see the real world exploding in CGI and dollar signs all the time.

- Before sex, Michael Bay always says in his best Sean Connery voice, "Welcome to the Rock."

- Michael Bay makes approximately $175 million on every one of his bowel movements (which smell a little bit like popcorn).

- For his morning workout, Michael Bay blows up buildings and runs away from the explosions.

- Michael Bay lost his virginity before his dad did.

- Michael Bay was preceded down the birth canal by a dove in slow motion. And followed by a column of flame.

- The real reason there are so many tornadoes in the Midwest is because Michael Bay is allergic to cats.

- Michael Bay has 2 speeds: Slow motion and on fire.


kapgaf said...

I thought the Chuck Norris jokes were bad but, by comparison, they were highly intellectual....

Soda and Candy said...

Hahaha, I like these.

I totally pictured the dove/baby/column of flame sequence.