Two guys walk into a bar. Seated at the bar are a duck, a bear and a nun. The two guys walk up to the bar and choose a couple of bar stools next to the duck. The barman comes over, pours them a couple of pints and plays no further part in the story. The first guy takes a sip of beer, turns to the duck and says, “Hey, Gordon, how was your day?”
The duck sighs. “Oh, you know, busy, Davey, busy as always. I got told a lot today and you know how it goes. Most of the time they just end up getting you wrong. Punchline mostly but not always just that. Sometimes I’m a goose. A couple of times I was a mouse. I mean, come on, people.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” says the first guy. “It’s not so much the whole ‘getting it wrong’ thing for me. It’s the repetition, you know?”
“Ah, too right,” says the second guy. “Every day, it’s the same. Always walking into a bloody bar. Just once it’d be nice to go somewhere different. A restaurant perhaps. Or maybe even a bedroom.”
“Eeeh, you dirty bugger,” says the duck.
“No, not like that,’ says the second guy. “It would be just be good for once to have a bit of lie down in a comfy bed.”
“God, yeah, that’d be lovely,” says the first guy.
The bear turns slowly to face them. “You guys think you’ve got it…… bad. At least you haven’t got the world’s most annoying speech……..impediment. No one ever wants to have a…... chat.” They nod sympathetically but choose not to engage.
“I tell you, if I have to hear one more fucking word about chuffing soap, I’ll ram a sodding bar right up the arsehole’s.... arsehole,” says the nun with a snarl, brandishing her creme de menthe in a threatening manner. The others nod but make sure to avoid eye contact.
A horse walks into the bar. Everyone has the decency not to mention his face.
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