Other People, Pffft

There’s a big part of me that wants to believe in the essential decency of other people. I’m not a religious or spiritual man so I don’t have faith in larger conceptual entities. I like to think that I can place my faith in humanity. Of course these days, there are seemingly big obstacles in the way of that belief, with the debacle that is Brexit and the rise of various other authoritarian governments. There is a more immediate threat to my view of humanity however. Commuters.

Now before we go on, I am going to caveat this with the admission that I am probably as much a part of the problem as anyone. There is a change that descends upon me. The mind of the commuter. Someone who has a spot on the platform where they stand, a similarly preferred spot to stand for the obtaining of a seat when there are none available and probably many other routine-ingrained ways of behaving. Is that going to stop me from having a pop at other people? Is it buggery.

“Move Downers”
It doesn’t take much to propel the regular levels of furious overcrowding into apoplectic levels of cheek by jowl cattle squeezing. This week, it was a cracked rail outside a station requiring emergency repairs that tipped things over the edge. On the way in, there is minor irritation but really deep down inside is a secret pleasure at having your working hours forcibly reduced without any real comeback (with accompanied reduction of working time provided by the increased small talk fodder of the delayed transport in the first place).

It’s when that delay extends back out into the evening that resentment really starts to bubble over. Here is where you get the startlingly impatient “Move Downers” - those who will bellow and berate at the unfortunates already inside to move down the train as they “are trying to get home” (unlike everyone else who has already squeezed themselves up against a strangers armpits for the sheer joy of transport). I get that there are times when people just hang by the door and don't use all available space but that is rarely the case. In this instance, the equally riled “Where the fuck to??” from the hellish depths of the carriage proved that untapped space inside was an illusion.

Weird Seat Changer
This one is weirdly specific and left me scratching my head. I was stood on the train as it was relatively busy (but not overcrowded). At the next station, a few people got off including one of the people that I was stood next to (as indicated above, I have my routines that usually bag me a seat). I was about to sit when a man who had been sitting down already then leapt up and barged past me in order to steal that specific seat before I could sit down. I was genuinely baffled by this and took his seat instead with a somewhat puzzled expression on my face. 

Was this a special seat? Did it confer a certain authority or hitherto unsuspected mystical powers to those whose seats were placed  upon it? Was it some sort of train-based live action board game and this was his next move, following an arcane and not immediately obvious set of rules? Had he just let one go and was moving from the immediate danger zone whilst still retaining a seat? Was the woman nearby unexpectedly handsy (if so, I saw no evidence)? Or was he just another weirdo like the many that you seem to encounter on a regular basis on public transport? Yeah, probably that last one.

I’m going to end this post with a tribute to public transport. It terminates here. No bus replacement will be provided.