The Imp Of The Perverse - Part The Third

The day had been saved once again, thanks to the Super Defence Force. Villain thwarted, authorities on hand, victims being comforted, all in a day’s work, etc. The fight had lasted quite some time and Billy’s bladder control, while admittedly above average, still had its limits. After a quick check in with the Grim Avenger to make sure that the nearest alleyway was free from any recording devices*, Billy ducked in behind the nearest industrial waste bin and quietly relieved himself of his heroic urine. He realised that this wasn’t textbook hero behaviour but, having just saved Capitalville once again, he really didn’t think that anyone would begrudge him a quick wee in an alleyway.

Billy was just finishing adjusting his costume when he spotted the small tabby mewing its way towards him. The thought was suddenly there. There was no warning, no inkling, no buildup. It wasn’t there and then it was, large and insistent at the front of his mind.

“Why don’t you just kick the cat?”

So swift was this thought that Billy didn’t even realise that his foot was moving until there was a small impact and a rapidly receding yowling noise. A cold wave of horror washed down his body and settled as a leaden stone in the pit of his stomach as his foot came back down to ground level and the full realisation of what he had done hit home.The cat was nowhere to be seen. As Billy slowly came to his senses, he realised that he was no longer alone in the alleyway. Turning around, he discovered the Grim Avenger standing behind him, surveying Billy with an unreadable look upon his face.

Billy had no idea how much his teammate had just witnessed. With his mind reeling as it began to comprehend the true awfulness of what he had just done, he had no capacity for a quick answer. His brain decided that the only real response here would be letting his mouth flap up and down a few times in a manner less like a hero and more like a fish. The Grim Avenger took in this sight for a few moments before simply nodding.

“You know, I once punched a homeless guy in the face. Broke his nose and fractured his jaw. Very bloody. No reason for it whatsoever. Just seemed like… the thing to do.”

Billy continued to gape. The Grim Avenger nodded once more and shrugged. 

“In our line of work, it happens sometimes.”

The Grim Avenger tipped him a salute and left. After a short time, Billy decided that he would sit down and cry for a while.

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Extract from Schwarz’s Encyclopedia of The Heroic And The Villainous (3rd Edition):-
Major Crisis (Alignment:- Heroic; Affiliation(s):- Super Defence Force)
....In one of the more mysterious ends to a hero’s career, Major Crisis abruptly retired from public life shortly after the Ink Master’s doomed attempt to convert Capitalville from three to two dimensions (see Ink Master; Super Defence Force). No public statement was ever given and no one has ever come forth to reveal themselves as the real Major Crisis or unveil the full story behind his retraction from the heroic life.


* The swift deployment of a patented Grim mini-EMP device made sure of that.