Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Heat 1, Baldy 0

As a concept, it's great. Blue skies, sun beating down, not a cloud in sight. Glorious. And, if you can sit by a pool in just your shorts reading a book and sipping a beer, it most certainly is. However, when the practicality of temperature in the early thirties involves un-air-conditioned trains and having to wear trousers because no-one in the office wants to see your knees, then it stops being conceptually lovely. Add to this a biological make-up that means that the amount of sweat you produce at the barest hint of heat makes you look like you're permanently standing under a shower and it becomes a less than pleasant time of year.

I know what you're thinking. "Typical bloody Englishman, whinges about the cold weather and then whinges about the heat." Well, you're wrong, my friend. I like the winter and I stood up for it a while back. When it's cold outside and you can come in warm yourself up, that's a splendid feeling. When everywhere you turn is hot and there's no way to cool yourself down to stop the constant flow of sweat, that is a less welcome feeling.

So, until the weather cools down a bit, a pox on it, I say. Fie on this damnable heat and yah boo sucks to boot. The one saving grace at the moment? Some wondrous genius invented the air conditioner and someone equally marvellous saw fit to install it in our office. Of course, when I find that magical career that allows me to lounge in the heat in my pants and drink beer by the pool then bring it on! Until then, I'll be pressing myself up against the fridge and licking the ice cubes.

P.S. Much like a computer, at higher temperatures, my brain has a tendency to overheat and cease functioning. Hence a couple of days of bloggy quietude. This intermittent service may well continue until it cools the fuck down.

7 comments:

Nikki said...

Pools are great but laying nekkid under a ceiling fan is better...

Summer is almost over right? Right? Oh who am I kidding, it's been pretty mild over in Denver territory. Tehe

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I imagine that being bald and having the sun burning down upon your scalp is a less-than-ideal situation, as well.

Especially if you burn like me.

I'm right there with you, defending winter.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

...and, hello. Nikki lying nekkid under a ceiling fan, though, is a lovely mental image that one probably wouldn't find during the winter...

Lana said...

so how hot is hot over there across the pond? we've been tormented by neverending rain and i'm dying for some steamy sunshine. who would have thought i'd consider a trip to england to escape the rain :)

kapgaf said...

I'm with you all the way on this one - in winter, you can always add another layer of clothing and/or turn the heat up but in the heat, once you're down to bare skin, that's it. Yes, air-conditioning is great except that I always end up sneezing all the time because of going from freezing cold to boiling hot several times a day....

Rachel May said...

oh, air conditioning, you beautiful thing you...

That Baldy Fella said...

Nikki - I would lie nekkid under the ceiling fan but they get really funny about that in the office...

mjenks - Actually, women in their lovely summery clothes is almost worth the price to pay. Ah, who am I kidding, it's so worth it.

Lana - It's hitting about 32/33 degrees which is fine if you don't have to move. Oh, it's still raining from time to time, it's just hot too!

kapgaf - Yep, warming up = nice. Cooling down = nigh on impossible.

Rachel May - 'Tis truly a wondrous thing