We’re all adjusting to an unprecedented global situation, some countries further along this path than others. The one thing that we can say for certain is that we’re entering a prolonged period where life will be different to anything any of us have known in our lifetime. We are all in this together even though we all have slightly different circumstances and different ways of coping. In the interest of hopefully providing something useful (maybe - you’ll be the judge of that), here are some ways I’ve come up with of coping with a very new living and working situation. I’ve always been a creature who likes a routine, something to help me structure my day. Not everyone is like that but I think that, in times like these, having some routines (whatever they may be) can help to create some sense of normality and continuity when you’ve got a situation that is changing on a day by day basis. Here some of the things that have been helping me to get a bit of structure to my day. Working I appreciate that there are a huge number of people who are in very uncertain employment positions and I also appreciate that I’m fortunate enough to still be employed. Like many others, I’ve now made the shift to permanent homeworking which is an adjustment. Here’s how I’m getting used to a new way of working. - Get up at the same time. I know what I’m like. If I start having a bit of a lie in, it’ll creep later and later. Plus when we do go get released back into the outside world, it’ll then be a struggle getting back into a routine. The bonus to this approach is that I now log on earlier and finish earlier (meetings permitting). - Have a set lunch break. I’ve started putting it in my diary. I’m also closing down the laptop and not looking at it during lunch. Exercise I’m in a house with “at risk” people at the mo so am completely confined. - Use exercise to break the transition at the end of the day. I used to walk to the train station for half na hour as part of my commute. Now I run round the garden (a little like an animal in captivity doing something repetitive, yes). It marks the end of the working day and the start of the bit that that’s not the working day albeit it still in the same room. - Lunchtime exercise. Only just started this but it seems to work. A bit of a go on the exercise bike at lunchtime to make me not sit at the desk and also aid hunger. Writing Yeah, I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I’ve seen a few places advise keeping a diary at the moment (particularly for kids). If nothing else, this is a unique time in history and, when it all does return to some semblance of normal, you may want to remember what you were thinking and feeling during this time. You’ll be surprised how quickly what we’re all feeling right now will fade once we’re no longer in this situation. Anyway, that’s helping me at the mo. Some of it might help you, some of it might not. As with everything on here, offered freely with no obligation to take the slightest bit of notice of it.
Alright then, time for another one of these. Surprisingly, these are taking me a little longer than I expected to write. No idea why. I will admit, focus is a little tricky at the moment. Not having gone further than the garden for eight days now will do that to you. Anyway… Today’s effort is based on suggestions by the extremely lovely Tamara - as before, the prompts themselves will be listed at the end. Resurrected INITIALISING… LOAD DEEP.MEM LOAD USER.PERS CHECK USERSYS SYSTEM STATUS OK START USE.UPL/AUD - Welcome back, _*Tony Mulvern*_. Please remain calm. All is well. You may experience some disorientation at this moment in time. That is a perfectly natural reaction. Please remain calm. All is well. "Who the hell are you, and where the hell is this?" - This environment is referred to as the Waiting Room. Research has shown that new returnees respond best to a gradual integration back into the world. If you need to, you may call me "Buddy". My role, on behalf of New Broom Corp, is to ensure that your revivification runs smoothly. “I can't see. Why can't I see? Oh my God, am I blind??” - In order to reduce potential trauma and risk of overload, your senses are being reintroduced one at a time. At the moment, only your auditory sense has been activated. Please remain calm, _*Tony Mulvern*_. All is well. “What’s going on? I don’t… I don’t understand.” - Confusion is natural for a returnee but please remain calm. All is well. You have been through a process to return you from a state of unbeing to one of regular corporeal health. Congratulations! “A state of unbeing? Did I… am I dead?” - I am happy to be able to report that, while that was briefly a condition you suffered from, this is no longer the case thanks to the tireless and dedicated work of our New Broom employees. Welcome back! “I’m so confused. How is this possible?” - Unfortunately, _*Tony Mulvern*_, that is the proprietary property of New Broom Corp and I am unable to divulge that information to you at this time. Please remain calm. All is well. “I just… I just want to go home. Can I go home now?” - In all likelihood, the domicile you refer you to as “home” is no longer allocated to you due to your recent cessation of living status. However, all such queries will be handled by the New Life Care Team once I have completed your phased revivification. I will shortly be activating your visual sense. Please remain calm. All is well. -------- The New Life Care Team had been pleasant enough in a vaguely professional way but Tony didn’t really feel much the wiser. There had a been a number of words that Tony had a vague sense about - “post-life cortical retrieval”; “reintegration shock syndrome”; “staggered familial contact” - but their blandly soothing tones combined with Tony’s general confusion to create a sort of mental white noise. What Tony had managed to gather was the following:- resurrection was par for the course these days; everyone currently alive had some of resurrection plan with one of the main relife companies; some companies were now going through and resurrecting people from the past. Tony, apparently, fell into that last category. He stood on the street in his New Broom provided clothing, clutching the Returnee Care Pack they had provided to him and tried his best to take everything in. Sights, souds, smells. None of it was familiar. There also seemed to be so much of everything. People, buildings, screens - everything was crammed in and bright and noisy and strange and shocking and… Tony shrank back against the New Broom building and slumped to the floor. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be real, could it? Maybe it was a joke. One of those reality shows. Did they even have reality shows anymore? Did they even have shows? Was TV even a thing anymore? What about Marie and the kids? Seventy four years, they said. Would they even be around? If not, had they been brought back? OK, thought Tony, he’d have to find out. Find them and try to make sense of this insane place. That would anchor him, that would bring him back, give him something to hold on to. Do they still have cabs, Tony thought to himself, as he stepped out towards what he imagined to be the curb. Unfortunately, what he had stepped out onto was not the curb at all but was in fact the incoming matter transport pad, as he discovered when his body was mingled at a molecular level with that of a young woman on her way to visit her newly revived grandmother. Oh, thought Tony as their bodies dissolved into a formless sludge, was that it? ------- INITIALISING… LOAD DEEP.MEM LOAD USER.PERS CHECK USERSYS SYSTEM STATUS OK START USE.UPL/AUD - Welcome back, _*Tony Mulvern*_ . Please remain calm. All is well. You may experience some disorientation at this moment in time. That is a perfectly natural reaction. Please remain calm. All is well. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” The Prompt Here is what I had to work with courtesy of Tamara:- Title: Resurrected Character: Tony Mulvern Object: Broom Line Of Dialogue: "Who the hell are you, and where the hell is this?"
(Technically, I should have posted this yesterday but I did promise the first of the short stories so you’re getting this a day late.) 1989. I am just about a teenager and the programme that I have been obsessed with for as long as I can remember watching TV programmes has just finished its latest series. I don’t realise it at the time but this isn’t just its latest series. It’s effectively been cancelled without being cancelled. It won't be coming back. 1996. I am a student now and that show is coming back. For years, it’s been a bit of a joke - wobbly sets, villains that can't go upstairs* - but this time, it’s got money, advertising and that bloke from Withnail & I in it. It does well but not well enough for the Americans co-funding it and, so once again, it fades into the background, kept alive for years by spin-off books and audios. 2004. I am a working man now and it’s announced that the show is properly coming back for a full series with a proper writer, a well-known actor and… a pop star? Ok, fair enough. I’ve been through the rumour mill a few times now. I’m pretty jaded. It might get one series and then it’ll fade into obscurity again and I can fade back into that odd group of people who still get excited about an old TV show, hidden away in the shadows. 2005. Rose, the first episode of the latest version of Doctor Who, airs. And it’s great. Fifteen years later and Doctor Who is still a big part of people’s TV watching life. A couple of generations have now grown up with a whole raft of new Doctors (counting John Hurt and Jo Martin, we’ve now had almost as many Doctors in the last fifteen years as in the first thirty three**). It still generates headlines and press attention, good and bad (pretty every year sees an article about how the ratings have declined and it’s going to be cancelled; seriously, every year) and it’s still going strong. In my opinion, this year’s batch was the strongest run in a good few years and that’s a pretty divisive opinion - just the fact that it can still provoke so much divisive opinion after fifteen continuous years back on TV and fifty seven (!) years overall is impressive in itself; there really aren’t any other series that can say that. So hats off to Russell T Davies, Christopher Eccleston, Billie Piper, Phil Collinson, Jane Tranter and all the other on-screen and behind the scenes people who did the impossible and successfully resurrected a programme largely ignored by the viewing public, turning into a national institution once again. D’you wanna come with me?
* Even though they did back in 1988. Any excuse to nerdily correct… ** Yes, Paul McGann counts.
This next post is the result of a call for inspiration that I put out on Facebook (and inspired by something similar I did on here almost exactly ten years ago - you can find them by looking for the posts titled Over To You back in March 2010, if you’re curious). Given that we’ve all got extra time on our hands (and my current living circumstances mean that I’m not leaving the house at all for quite some time), I put out a call over on the Book Of The Face for writing prompts to give me a challenge and keep the little grey cells active. I asked for the following:- - Story title - A character name - An object - A line of dialogue out of which I would craft a (possibly very) short story to be posted on this here blog. The first attempt is courtesy of a prompt from Selena - I’ll reveal the requirements at the end… Off we go! The Lost Strawberry Character building. That’s always the term they use for stuff like this. Character building. As if the only way you’re ever going to have anything resembling character is by being lost, hungry, wet, cold and terrified. You know the sort of people who say that? People whose necks are thicker than their heads, that’s who. Russell looked at his phone again. He knew that, without any charge, it was really just a bit of metal and plastic that he was now carrying around but there was still just that little part inside of him that hoped, just hoped, that it might magically start working again if he just left it long enough. That tactic hadn’t worked yet but, every few minutes, he still kept checking. The last thing he’d seen flash up on screen had been a text message from his sister saying, “OMG Russell where have you been??” before battery death ensued and it converted to a useless lump. The wind sliced through the hollow he was crouched in. Russell pulled his coat tighter around him, shuddering a little as he did so. Of course he was in a situation like this. Stuck halfway up a bloody Welsh mountain with no means of contact and no real provisions and no proper gear. Of course. Things had always gone this way for him. From birth. No, wait, even from before birth. He blamed his parents for that. They’d thought it was cute, going for the hyphenated name when they got married. Freddie Straw and Martine Berry. Oh yes, very cute. All fun and games until your one and only son spends his school life being teased for being a Straw-Berry. Russell had heard all the names but the nickname that had stuck had been Shortcake. He’d hated it but, after a while, had come to accept that this was the one that people were running with. He’d taken it on, he’d owned it, he’d made it his. The only drawback with that was that it led him to get into, let’s say, “inadvisable” situations, largely in a determined effort to prove his masculinity. When your nickname’s Shortcake, you do whatever it takes to prove it wrong. You drink the bottle of extra hot chili sauce and don’t let on about the two days worth of rectal bleeding. You go home with the girl in the club that your mates suspect is a lady of the night and then have to explain to all of your subsequent sexual partners about the chlamydia. You let your mates pick where and what to tattoo you with and then endure the death stares from your aunt at your cousin’s wedding the next day (even though she’s clearly seen one of those before otherwise you wouldn't have a cousin). And you also let your mates convince you to walk to the top of the mountain and back to the pub before last orders called wearing just the clothes you’re standing in. It had started pretty well and he’d actually made it to the top surprisingly easily. Russell was beginning to suspect that there was a lot less to this whole "going up mountains" lark than people made out. So he’d started making his way down and that was when the problem started. He’d been following the map on his phone but that was draining the battery at an alarming rate so he’d shut that off. Besides, it couldn’t be too tricky to get back. All he had to do was go down in the same direction as he went up and he’d be sat in the pub in no time. Simple. Except it was getting dark and it didn't look the same going down as it did coming up and, before Russell knew it, he was lost, lying in a small hollow and only wearing a singular shoe (if he was honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened to the other one; there had definitely been two earlier on). Another quick check of the phone. Still dead. Alright then, options. Options, options, options. First option - stay here and wait til it got lighter. Pros - no more stumbling around in the dark getting lost. Cons - probably going to die of exposure overnight. OK, not ideal. Next. Second option - head on out in the direction you’re pretty convinced was down and hope you hit the pub. Pros - it works and you can have a pint in the warm. Cons - you get even more lost, fall over and injure yourself and either die from your injuries or exposure overnight. Or both. Not exactly a great set of options then. On balance, though, if he was going to die (which did seem to be something of a possibility), Russell would rather it was doing something than doing nothing. He checked the laces on his remaining shoe, gave the phone one last hopeful but ultimately doomed check and set off in the direction he hoped was the right one. Somewhere out there was a pint with his name on it and Russell was determined that it would be claimed... The Prompt Here is what I had to work with courtesy of Selena:- Title: The Lost Strawberry. Character: Russell Straw-Berry Object: A Singular Shoe. Line Of Dialogue: OMG Russell where have you been??
Sometimes you want to read something, with words and all that, but you want some lovely artwork to go along with it as well. Kind of like a film but also on the page. You know the kind of thing. Comics, yeah, those are the chaps. Well, it turns out that, muc like films, TV and books, there are all sorts of comics out there to cater for all sorts of tastes - they don’t have to be people in lycra outfits doing a lot of punching. Here are some options for you. I’m largely going to be recommending stuff that has a beginning, a middle and an end (although as time goes on, we may have enough time to catch up on every issue of X-Men...) Mind MGMT A mixture of conspiracy, paranoia and strange powers, Matt Kindt’s tale rewards binge reading with its secret messages and plot lines hidden in the margins. Kindt’s art is distinctive - I like its rough and scratchy style and it’s well suited to this sort of story but it’s not to everyone’s tastes. If you can get on board with the style, I think this one’s a gem. Giant Days John Allison’s book follows students Esther de Groot, Susan Ptolemy and Daisy Wooton from their first day of university through to their last and does so with humour, warmth and style. It’s also a perfect marriage as the artwork by Max Sarin (initially Lissa Treiman) is completely the right fit for the story Allison is telling. Highly recommended. I Hate Fairyland Written and illustrated by Skottie Young and with the over the top violent sensibilities of Peter Jackson tells the story of Gertrude, a young girl trapped in Fairyland who, after 30 years without ageing and no way to get home, has become the most horrendous psychopath you could ever imagine. Young’s kid-friendly cartoony art style makes theultra-violence all the funnier. Pure unadulterated gleefully horrible fun. Bone One that is suitable for all ages this time. An initially whimsical tale of cartoon creatures lost in a bizarre valley (Fone Bone and his dopey cousin Smiley and scheming cousin Smiley), this expands into an epic fantasy as a mysterious Hooded One with an unknown link to the Bones begins a worrying rise to power… It’s funny, exciting and moving and definitely worth your time. You can get an all-in-one collection of the whole story too. Transmetropolitan This futuristic tale of a journalist who takes on a monster of a President (known as The Beast) only to end up replacing with him with an even worse option (The Smiler) is nearly twenty five years old and still feels as relevant as ever; replace “Beast” and “Smiler” with Trump and Pence and I think you’ve got a pretty good parallel right there. It’s caustic, funny and angry and has, in the shape of ranting journalist Spider Jerusalem (based partly on Hunter S Thompson), an iconic protagonist at it heart.
That’ll keep you going for a little while. Support your local independent comics shops who are still offering delivery services if you can by ordering up some of these graphic novels. Something for everyone there*. I think that's more than enough binge recommendations to keep you going for a little while. I'll come back round to this when everyone's ready for some more. * Not an actual guarantee of something for everyone. No responsibility taken for any lack of enjoyment.
Of course, you don’t have to just stare slack-jawed at the glowing screen. I know, I know, it’s fun and super easy and I’ve just spent the last five days telling you about things to watch. There are other options though. You could always crack open that massive stack of books that you've got lying around and been meaning to get around to. Look, if you’re not going to do it when the entire world is confined to quarters, when are you going to do it? If you haven't already got a stack of books lined up then there are plenty of authors out there who’ve written more than a few books (or some nicely thick books) to keep you going. Here are a couple of options. N.K. Jemisin I’ve mentioned her before but I really liked the trilogy of hers that I read so I’m mentioning her again. Said trilogy was The Broken Earth (The Fifth Season, The Obelisk Gate, The Stone Sky) and is a pleasingly genre-mixing combination of fantasy and sci fi. What sets it apart from a lot of other fantasy style novels is that it is told from a female perspective rather than a male one (which tends to be the default for a lot of fantasy literature). I’ve got another trilogy of hers and a book of short stories to get through so will be making inroads on those at some point during this whole “don't go outside, outside bad” thing. Jon Ronson Time to mix up and add something factual into the mix. Ronson is a journalist in a similar vein to Louis Theroux who likes to investigate some of the stranger or lesser explored aspects of society. (He also co-wrote the screenplay for the film Frank based on his own experiences of touring with comedy character Frank Sidebottom.) While his books tackle serious subjects, there is always a strong bein of humour laced throughout. Key books include:- Them, in which he speaks to various extremists and conspiracy theorists; The Psychopath Test, in which he explores the theory that top business people share similar characteristics to psychopaths (as well as investigating how we classify aberrant mental behaviour in general); and So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, in which he takes a look at the modern phenomenon of public shaming / cancel culture. Terry Pratchett I mean, you must know who Terry Pratchett is by now. I’ve been reading Terry Pratchett books for over thirty years and I still love them. Sadly, Sir Terry is no longer with us but, fortunately, he was ridiculously prolific while he was here so there are more than enough Pratchett books to keep you going. Where to start? The obsessive in me would say start with the first Discworld book, obviously, but he’s still working out what the whole concept is in the first one. Mort is a good starting place but then I would go back and start from the first one and work your way as the world develops as he goes along and it’s fascinating to see the changes to the world as it progresses. Many independent bookshops are still offering delivery services so you can support a business which may struggling during this unusual time while still remaining safely indoors. There are plenty more I could recommend depending on what you’re looking for. Looking for good character work? Rachel Cusk’s trilogy of Outline / Transit / Kudos is very good. Looking for stuff that's weird and hard to quantify? China Mieville and Jeff Vandermeer are the ones for you. Looking for something funny in a Sue Townsend /Adrian Mole kind of a way? Nina Stibbe and Brian Bilston will fit that mold. Maybe I’ll come back round to this and do a follow up…
Plenty of us with some extra time on our hands now. Given that, you could plow through some major film franchises during all that time at home. Are there any major film franchises out there that people could go through? Might be one or two… Star Wars Number Of Films:- 11 Why’s It Good? Space wizards, weird aliens and funny robots fighting masked baddies, what’s not to like? Do I Have To Watch Them All? Not necessarily - you could the original 1977 film as a standalone (the one now titled Episode IV: A New Hope*) and Rogue One would work pretty well on its own, I reckon. How Should I Watch Them? Well, you’ve got choices here. You could for the chronological order (I - III, Solo, Rogue One, IV-IX), you could go for release order (IV-VI, I-III, VII, Rogue One, VIII, Solo, IX) or you could always just skip the prequels… James Bond Number Of Films:- 24 (or 26)** Why’s It Good? Spies, super villains and gadgets with the option to reinvent itself every few years by recasting the lead (the Doctor Who of the film world) Do I Have To Watch Them All? Nope, for the most part you can watch each one without any knowledge of previous films, up until the Daniel Craig years where you have got some continuing plot threads going on. Seeing as the release of Craig’s last outing as Bond has now been delayed, now would be a good time to catch up. How Should I Watch Them? However you want with these ones. Being an anal retentive type, I would probably go start to finish but you could always watch by Bond (pretty quick bingeing if you go for Lazenby) or just pick ones you like at random. Studio Ghibli Number Of Films:- 21 (plus a couple often counted as Ghibli films) Why’s It Good? Often referred to as the Japanese equivalent of Disney (which I feel is a little reductive given the breadth of different subjects and styles covered by the films), these are animated films of the highest quality Do I Have To Watch Them All? Not at all - they’re all standalone films so you can dip in and out of the ones that interest you. How Should I Watch Them? If you’re looking for something that all the family can enjoy, My Neighbour Totoro and The Cat Returns are good entry ones (as are Kiki’s Delivery Service or Howl’s Moving Castle). If you’re something with more weight to it, Grave Of The Fireflies will break your heart. Carry On Number of Films:- 31 (if you include Carry On Columbus...which you probably shouldn’t) Why’s It Good? They’re not always, let’s be honest, and they contain some truly horrendous attitudes but there’s a breezy cheerfulness that everyone could do with at the moment. Do I Have To Watch Them All? It’s probably best that you don’t; I’m not sure the human brain can cope with such concentrated levels of pure innuendo (in your endo…) How Should I Watch Them? With a couple of beers probably for best effect. ..At Your Convenience and ...Girls were always favourites when I were a nipper. Just be sure to view with the lens of these as products of a different time and lower the usual offensiveness register. That’ll keep you going and it’s covered plenty of different bases. As always, there’s plenty more to recommend but we’re in this for the long haul so stay tuned for round two of recommendations. * Yeah, tricky trying to talk about "first film" in a franchise that released Episode I twenty two years later... ** Depends on whether you count Casino Royale from 1967, a comedy featuring David Niven as original James Bond and six other people (including Peter Sellers) are pretending to be Bond; or Never Say Never Again in which Sean Connery unofficially returned as Bond in this remake of Thunderball made possible by a weird rights ownership loophole.
Sometimes you just want to plonk yourself down in front of some good old-fashioned cartoony entertainment. Or you’ve got, I don’t know, kids to entertain or something. Either way, sometimes only animation will do. Here are some examples of animated fun to either appease your own inner need to be soothed by the pictures or to entertain those kid thingies (either / or). Gravity Falls Why’s It Good? It’s funny, weird and silly but it has something that you don’t often get in kids cartoons - a beginning, a middle and an end. Over the course of the two series, it tells the story of brother and sister Dipper and Mabel who are spending the summer with their Gruncle (Great Uncle) Stan, a grifter who runs the scam-tastic Mystery Shack in the town of Gravity Falls. Except it turns out that Gravity Falls is home to all sorts of weird stuff. One of those shows that works for kids but also has plenty of gags for the adults. Watch it. Then you’ll probably want to watch it again. How Much Of It? 40 episodes over two seasons. Regular Show Why’s It Good? It’s a weird 80s-nostalgia-heavy-rock-tinged slice of weirdness about two slackers, a blue jay named Mordecai and a raccoon named Rigby, who work in a park and get themselves into all sorts of utterly bizarre adventures. While airing on Cartoon Network, it definitely feels like it's edging towards slightly older territory, given the way that chug sodas and go on the equivalent of drunken sugar-fuelled benders. Oh, and the creator has stated that The Mighty Boosh is definitely an influence on the crimping style singing that the lead characters do so there’s your indicator of weirdness factor. How Much Of It? 261 (at 11 mins each) episodes over eight seasons plus a movie The Amazing World Of Gumball Why’s It Good? Riding high on the weirdness scale again is this one revolving around the adventures of cat Gumball Watterson and his former pet fish / adopted brother Darwin. It’s a mixture of traditional animation, CGI and stop motion which varies from character to character giving it a very eclectic look. It also strangely goes into the fact that each of these characters are very different from the T-Rex to the giant yet to the ghost girl yet they all exist in the same shared environment. It’s also very, very silly. How Much Of It? 240 (at 11 mins each) episodes over six seasons Batman: The Animated Series Why’s It Good? It is, to my mind, the definitive adaptation of comic book Batman. It redefined the way traditional 2D animation series were done when launched back in 1992 with it’s highly stylised, 40s noir influenced take on the character and it still looks great nearly 30 years later. It also gives us two definitive portrayals - Kevin Conroy’s Batman is the best onscreen version as far as I’m concerned (and it's his voice I now hear when I read a Batman comic) and Mark Hamill’s bonkers Joker enlivens any episode that he’s in. The follow up series Batman Beyond is also surprisingly good too. How Much Of It? 109 episodes over three seasons plus two movies Alright, that’s plenty of series recommendations you’ve had now. What if you want something a bit more feature length, though? Hmmm...
Let me start off by saying that there are, of course, tons and tons of UK comedy shows that I love - I think all my previous witterings under the banner of “Comedy Archeology” have more than sufficiently proved that. However, the UK model of TV production can often make for swift bingeing; let’s face it, you can get through Fawlty Towers in two evenings and that’s making it last. With that in kind, there will be more of a US bent to this one (with one exception) as you definitely get your money’s worth in terms of binge quantity. The Good Place Why’s It Good? Because it’s primetime American sitcom that deals with morality and ethics while being funny and also managing to throw the “sit” out of the window a few times. If you haven’t seen it, don’t read up on it as it’s best gone into cold so that you’re not spoiled. I’ll give you a quick overview of the basic setup - Eleanor Shelstrop dies and finds herself in The Good Place, the place where everyone goes when they’ve lived a worthy life. The only problem is that she’s a complete dirtbag and really shouldn't be there… The cast have got great chemistry, it’s not the show that you think it’s going to be and Ted Danson is particularly great in it. It also has an absolutely sublime final episode. In fact, stop reading this and go watch it now. How Much Of It? 53 episodes over 4 seasons Peep Show Why’s It Good? It follows on in that old school tradition of British sitcoms in which two people are kind of trapped together in their relationship, hating it to an extent but unable to cope without each other. In this case, it’s David Mitchell’s Mark and Robert Webb’s Jeremy with the whole show being told from their point of view and revealing their inner monologues as they go along. It dark and twisted and very, very funny plus, with a supporting cast that features Olivia Colman and Patterson Joseph, you can't go far wrong. How Much Of It? 54 episodes over 9 series Parks And Recreation Why’s It Good? Because it’s ultimately joyful and optimistic (which you’ll probably need to counterpoint the cynicism of Peep Show). Originally envisaged as a spin off from the American Office before being slightly retooled, it follows the adventures of dedicated public servant Lesley Knope (Amy Poehler) and her friends/colleagues as she attempts to serve the people of the city of Pawnee. The first season (of 6 episodes) takes a little time to find its feet but, from the second season onwards, it’s a belter. One of my all time favourites. How Much Of It? 125 episodes over 7 seasons To be honest, this post could well go on forever. There are plenty of other long-running comedies that I could recommend - The US Office, Scrubs, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Arrested Development (first 3 seasons), 30 Rock, Silicon Valley, Frasier. And that's not even mentioning the tons of UK stuff that you could blitz through. Just stick on some comedy basically. Who doesn’t like to laugh?
This is first and foremost a place of supreme nerdiness so let’s direct the bingeing in a more geekily direction today. Again, I’m not going to go with some of the more obvious ones (if we’re talking bingeing, I’m going to assume you’ve already gone through Stranger Things) and, if you’re one of those people that has got a BritBox account, you can take it as read that I’m going to tell you crack on with classic Doctor Who (695 episodes over 26 seasons plus a TV movie too). Also, we all know about our Walking Deads and Games Of Thrones so let’s skip over them. Let’s go for a few different options here. Babylon 5 Why’s It Good? Look, full disclosure, not only have I previously written a post about this but I even did my university on postmodernism in Babylon 5 (TL;DR - there is some..ish...) so it’s safe to say that I like this series. It’s good because it has a defined storyline with a beginning, middle and end with interesting and surprising character arcs. There are elements in the first episode of the series proper that pay off years down the line. It’s responsible for the modern concept of story arcs in TV. It’s very good (yes, I am biased on this one). How Much Of It? 110 episodes over 5 seasons plus 5 TV movies, a direct to DVD special and one spin-off series (Crusade) Battlestar Galactica Why’s It Good? This was a series that tackled two subjects that are often glossed over or homogenised in sci-fi - politics and religion - and really ran with them. Like the currently airing Westworld series, it deals with notions of what makes life and intelligence and it did so in an action-packed war-based series. It also managed to erase memories of the original sub-Star Wars series* by reinventing the characters for a new audience. While it may stumble slightly with the ending (not quite as divisive as Lost was but close), it’s still a series with a lot to offer and well worth the watch. How Much Of It? A two-part mini-series, 76 episodes over 4 seasons, 2 TV movies and a spin off (Caprica) Farscape Why’s It Good? Because, at some point, Farscape decides that there is absolutely no reason why it can't take batshit crazy plotlines and just run with them to see where they go. Add in some genuinely alien aliens (courtesy of the Jim Henson Workshop) and a weird line in kinkiness and you’ve got a series that is utterly unique when it comes to space opera shenanigans. It’s certainly not a series that would be to everyone’s taste but if you’re looking for something a bit stranger then give this one a try. How Much Of It? 88 episodes over 4 seasons and a 2-part mini-series finale The Magicians Why’s It Good? The elevator pitch for this - Harry Potter but at university - doesn’t do justice to this series at all. It’s unafraid to get grimy, it’s filthy, it’s funny and it never goes in the direction that you expect it to. It’s also unafraid to put its characters through the wringer - sometimes that doesn;t always quite pay off but it;s good that it’s willing to try. It’s currently airing the last few episodes of its fifth and final season so, by the time you’ve caught up, you’ll be just in time to see how it ends. How Much Of It? 65 episodes (by the time it finishes) over 5 seasons. Still after some more? Fair enough, we could all be at home for a while. Let’s cover off some more stuff next time. * This may sound dismissive of the original (and, to be honest, I’m not a big fan) but it was genuinely conceived as a way to cash in on the success of Star Wars but on the small screen instead.
So, as of this week, there is a marked increase in the number of people who are staying in the house. Workplaces are promoting homeworking for a lot of people (I have been told to work from home from this week onwards by [COMPANY NAME REDACTED]), events are being cancelled and hoards of toilet roll are being covetously regarded with the fervour of Gollum getting a new bit of jewellery. All of which means that people are finding more time is being spent at home than was previously hoped for. You could, of course, spend your time conversing with your loved ones (yeah, right) or you could discover new things to distract you from having to converse with your loved ones (you’re here so let’s face it, we all know which way you’re leaning). Let’s break it down into a few categories and give you some stuff to keep you going for extended periods of time. Any recommendations are, as always, entirely subjective and may veer between genuinely quality and unjustifiable cheese. Also, I’m going to take Breaking Bad as a given. Everyone’s watched that, right?
Let’s kick off with one that may well be on a few people’s “oh yeah, I keep meaning to get around to watching that” lists. If you’d been meaning to, then now is a good time.
The Sopranos Why’s It Good? Because it takes all the stuff that traditionally draws you in to mob-based dramas and adds a level of angst alongside the travails of day-to-day family life to give it a slightly different edge to the Scorsese or Coppola-style mob dramas. It’s a great cast and a compelling set of characters, many of whom many to straddle that line between compelling and horrendous. It does have a somewhat contentious ending (I won’t say any more than that) but that does not detract from the journey. It’s one of the best dramas out there so give it a go. How Much Of It? 86 episodes over 6 seasons Killing Eve Why’s It Good? It feels like a real breath of fresh air into the whole spy / secret agent genre, largely for its selection of great female characters. You’ll note I resisted using the word “strong” there as that has become something of a cliche and also indicates that only male protagonists are allowed to be fucked up. Given that this adaptation of the Villanelle book series comes from Phoebe Waller-Bridge, it’s no surprise then that both Villanelle and titular Eve are fucked up in their own unique ways. It’s funny, it’s exciting and Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh are never less than compelling. It;s still ongoing but you;ve got two series so far that you can catch up on. How Much Of It? 16 episodes over 2 series (not gonna keep you going for long, true) Alias Why’s It Good? We’re into the cheesy territory here. This may not be for everyone and it's arguably close to sci-fi given how utterly preposterous it is but if you want something compelling that’ll keep you coming back for the next episode (every episode basically ends on a cliffhanger leading into the next week) then you can’t go too far wrong with this. Sure, it goes off the boil a bit towards the end but, as its height, it keeps you on your toes and wanting to find out more. It’s the first real example of JJ Abrams’ “mystery box” approach and highlights everything that is good and bad about that style of storytelling. Much like 24, it’s about the thrill rather than the logic. Switch off and enjoy.* How Much Of It? 105 episodes over 5 seasons (quite a lot really) That’s your more mainstream dramas to start you off. Let’s get proper geeky next time out… * Also, if you’re Bradley Cooper fan then this is some of his earliest work. If you’re not then there are an impressive number of guest stars including Roger Moore, Faye Dunaway, David Cronenberg (yes, the director), Isabella Rossellini, Angela Bassett, Rutger Hauer, Christian Slater and Quentin Tarantino. Not a bad list (well, except maybe Tarantino from an acting point of view…)
A hospital that has five hundred administrative staff but no money left for doctors, nurses or patients. A national identity database causing concerns about what the government could do with that information. Plot lines from a political comedy which is forty years old but still feel as if they are relevant today. Last night, in honour of the fortieth anniversary of Yes Minister and it’s follow up Yes Prime Minister, the BFI screened Party Games, the hour long special that serves as the bridge between the two series, followed by a Q&A with co-writer Jonathan Lynn.* The show holds up really well and still has some good laughs in it even forty years on. That’s a testament to two things - the strength of the writing and the strength of the performances. In terms of the writing, it’s about politics without being specifically topical. In a move that Armando Iannucci would later emulate with the Thick Of It, the political parties are never named (always just the government and the opposition), making it easier to focus on the machination of governing itself. Lynn pointed out in his Q&A that the programme isn’t about Parliament - to Lynn’s mind, Parliament is just the theatre, the spectacle, the show. The real business of governing happens within the civil service, in the corridors of Whitehall and that hasn’t really altered. This focus on the bureaucracy and the unchanging nature of the civil service (and it’s fervent desire to remain unchanging in the face of constant ministerial shuffling in order to actually get anything done) is what makes it feel just as relevant today. Performance-wise, the trio of Paul Eddington as principled but fearful minister/prime minister Jim Hacker, Nigel Hawthorne as the unbendable bureaucratic face of the civil service, Sir Humphrey Appleby and Derek Fowlds as middleman and private secretary Bernard Woolley are all at the top of their game in this. They hold every scene and provide a masterclass in comedy acting with a proper dramatic impact (which Lynn believes comes from their theatrical training). Lynn revealed that Hawthorne was happy to perform Sir Humphrey tongue-twisting linguistic gymnastics as long as the writers would guarantee that the scripts were locked down three weeks in advance whereas Eddington often had a moment in the script where he would act out Hacker’s response rather than use the dialogue (so they would give him a line that could be optional in each script). Casting-wise, Lynn and fellow co-writer Antony Jay were both set on Eddington and Hawthorne from the start. They then met with the series producer who proceeded to tell them that his choice for the main roles was Eddington and Hawthorne - a rare case of complete agreement. Fowlds came on board through a chance meeting at a meal with the governor of a prison (a long story apparently) at which Lynn decided he’d found their Bernard. The BFI does a great job of putting on events celebrating classic UK TV and this was no exception. If you’ve never seen Yes, Minister / Yes, Prime Minister before, I heartily recommend it. *Small sad note - the BFI had been talking to Derek Fowlds about him attending as well prior to his death in January.
Dear Me From A Few Decades Ago, This is your future (and, let’s face it, more handsome) self writing to you via the medium of, oh I don’t know, let’s say some sort of snazzy word-processing-based vaguely mystical yet solidly scientific method of time travel. I have been given this opportunity to drop you some words of comfort, wisdom and general advice in order to guide you on your way. Don’t worry, though, I’m still you so will probably end up insulting you instead (we haven’t changed too much). Let’s crack on with it, shall we?
Don’t bother spending as much time as you currently do slathering your hair in a ridiculous amount of product. It’s unmanageable anyway, you won't get any interest from girls until you’re about 19 and it’ll start going by 21 anyway. Get yourself a decent set of hair clippers. You will be using them. A lot.
You might be worried about something on the horizon called “the Gulf War”. Don’t worry too much - this is only Round One and, by the time you get to 2020, there’ll be so many more things to worry about. So many more.
After an initial bout of cider drinking starting in a year or so, you will discover the joys of beer. You’ll carry on discovering it for a number of years subsequent to that (you’re still working your way through it at the moment…).
At this point, Doctor Who is done with. Don’t get your hopes up until 1996 and even then don’t get them up too much. Don’t despair, though - give it about 15 years and you might get a pleasant surprise.
You will watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch several times at the cinema this summer. When you get to be me, you’ll still think it’s great.
The following people will have an impact on you over the next few years:- Michelle Pfeiffer, Cindy Crawford, Sherilynn Fenn, Erika Eleniak off Baywatch, Gloria Estefan (yeah, bit of a curveball, that one). Enjoy.
Those glasses you have now? You should get rid of them. They make you look like Timmy Mallett. At no point does this become a cool and retro thing.
You know how you're a cat person? Yeah, that hasn't changed. At one point, you'll live with four. It'll be as great as it sounds.
Your love of lists has not diminished in the intervening years.
Actually, you know what? Just crack on with it as is. It’ll play out that way it’ll play out. You’ll have good times and you’ll have bad times but it’ll absolutely be worth it for the people you meet. Ah, you’ve got some cracking people just around the corner (and even right up to now), can't wait for you to meet them. It’s gonna be alright.
Anyway, better go back to my highly successful careers as best-selling author / filmmaker / beer-taster / rollercoaster-tester / general national treasure*. See you in a couple of decades - just make sure you’re looking for someone with a much higher forehead than you currently have… Toodles, Bigger, Balder You * Look, if you can't lie to yourself, who can you lie to?
There’s a fine line between collector and hoarder and it’s easy to drift between the two. I like to think (with a reasonably healthy dollop of self-delusion and self-justification) that I veer more into the collector arena as I will go through and purge from time to time. Also, the stuff that I do have is generally kept ordered and accessible within my own careful system of organisation (alphabetically for DVDs and BluRays; a slightly more arcane system based on author, genres, book size and eye-pleasingness for books). There are occasionally some little oddities that turn up from time to time as well as outliers of hidden untidiness. Tickets & Programmes Sometimes, I find things from events, etc. that I’ve been too. Last year, I came across a large envelope containing a site map, lanyard, programme of events, souvenir magazine and newspaper cuttings all from the first Glastonbury I went to back in 2005. I’d never been overly fussed about festival going before but, with my 30th birthday fast approaching, it suddenly leapt up to being one of those things that I wanted to do before I was 30. Also, pretty much every BFI screening and event which I go to gives you a lovely little fact sheet to accompany it - I keep this along with the ticket in a folder. Will I ever go through and read them again? Hmmm, it’s possible that this one strays into hoarder territory but it is very tidy hoarding. MiniDisc Player & MiniDiscs Hey, MiniDiscs are the future. Well, at least, they were for about a week in 2000 and then iPods came out and they were instantly old and clunky. I absolutely loved my MiniDisc player. In fairness, I’ve partly kept it as it has some audio sketches and documentaries that I created at university (which I haven’t got around to digitising) but mainly it’s because MiniDiscs are cool and you know they are so shut up. Drawer O’Cables You start off with good intentions. You carefully loop the cables (maybe even using cable ties to keep all nice and stuff), you keep them grouped according to function, you determine that you will only use that drawer for cables and nothing else. Two weeks later, you look in it and it’s now a wildly overgrown wire jungle with outliers of shoe polish, spare toothbrush heads and hastily shoved in the drawer credit card statements. You genuinely have no idea how this happened. Old Shoes I never used to have many pairs of shoes. Being a former shoe salesman and man of very wide feet, shoe shopping is not something I like to endure. The modern word has removed a lot of that shoe shopping pain. I’ve found an online store with decent but affordable shoes in my size which I have no need to try on. As such, the bottom of the wardrobe now has a layer of shoes at the bottom which are not worn and gradually being compressed into something resembling a geological layer*. I know that a lot of these things should just be thrown away. I should not just be beholden to the tyranny of stuff. I know that they should be disposed of. That SCART lead might come in handy, though...
* In a similar way to the planet of Brontitall which passed the Shoe Event Horizon in the second radio series of The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (I am a nerd; these are my reference points).
Dear Commuter, You’ve successfully woken yourself up and left the house but now have to face the prospect of getting to the Place That They Pay You Money To Go For Many Hours (referred to forthwith as “Work”). Look no further than this nifty guide to navigating your way to Work. N.B. This guide is based on capital city dwelling. Places of a more northerly disposition may be friendlier. Public Transport 1. Arrive at designated pick up spot (train station / bus stop/ zeppelin hangar) with just enough time. 2. Sigh / tut in irritation at inevitable delay due to overrunning engineering / accident / fundamental lack of investment in transport infrastructure. 3. Hurry to regular spot at which you stand in order to get on in your preferred place. 4. Experience irrational but strong anger at anyone else who might be standing there instead / experience mildly pathetic sense of smug entitlement at achieving said spot (delete as applicable). 5. Wait. 6. Wait some more. 7. Check indicator; note that delay to arrival time is creeping up at the same rate as the clock. 8. Experience totally unnecessary surge of adrenaline once transport arrives, coupled with almost imperceptible jostling to ensure that you are first through the doors. 9. Sigh / tut in irritation at person sitting in your desired seat / squeeze yourself into a dangerously overcrowded mode of transport that would be illegal for transporting cattle (delete as applicable). 10. Blot out remainder of commute with headphones / book / general disinterest in anything around you as a whole. 11. Arrive at the office in the perfect state of mind for tackling the days challenges / spend the first 30 minutes bitching to anyone with ears about the horrors of your commute. 12. Repeat until retirement or death. Private Transport 1. Not applicable in London unless you’re criminally insane. Congratulations! You are now at the office where forty to fifty years of delightful toil in exchange for the means to exist awaits you. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy...
