Friday 23 March 2018

Diary Of A Supervillain - Part The Third

Friday
Glaxnor has to go. Yesterday, he went out marauding, took my favourite axe and then he broke it on Mr Indestructible's skull. I mean, come on! His name's Mr Indestructible, there's a clue right there! And then ,when he came back, he left gore and entrails all over the Bathroom of Ineffable Futility. I'd just bloody well cleaned it. Plus he deleted that box set I'd been saving for the last six months and filled the Sky box with wrestling. I don't care how much of a tough time he's had, he has to go!

My post arrived dead on time today. True, it was delivered by a man wearing three-inch thick amour plating and it took him twenty minutes to walk up the drive but at least he was on time. And is that really so much to ask?

Had a very snotty phone call from The Mighty Man. Asking me if I was fighting other heroes behind his back. I told him that I'd never been his exclusive nemesis anyway and I could thwart other heroic types if I wanted to. He said fine, he was thinking of stopping Countess Nefaria's vicious scheme for total world domination anyway and hung up. Felt a bit bad about it but, really, a villain can't be tied down to just one hero. There's a whole world out there.

Weekend tomorrow. Might go out shopping for some new evil animals (the evil axolotl was a no-go), see if there are any bulk malevolent discounts going. Plus some of the minions want to go to the cinema. There's a James Bond marathon playing. Might give everyone a few pointers as well as being a bit of fun. Sometimes a villain and his henchmen just need to unwind....



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