Maximum Three Videos Per Rental

When The Brother and I were but younglings, there was a place of great allure and almost mystical power to which we would repeatedly entreat The Father for a visit. I am, of course, talking of that place that was known only to those two children of the 80s as The Video Shop. It didn’t sell videos, though - oh no. You didn't get to keep them*. It was basically a library where you rented VHS tapes of the latest films and TV series (sometimes as many as two episodes per tape) for a fixed period of time - failure to adhere to said agreed period of time incurring a financial penalty against the renter.

To be found within were all of the major Hollywood releases from anything up to twelve to eighteen months after their theatrical debut and we devoured those, naturally. Also contained within were many other weird and wonderful films which were not major Hollywood release - some of which may not have even graced a large screen in the UK. To our tiny and less than discerning minds, these fantastical items, often with lurid and grossly misleading covers, were just as appealing as any of the big blockbusters, if not more so. Our local video shop (in the days before the chains such as Blockbusters became predominant) had a set of shelves in the middle with just the VHS covers in plastic laminates for you to flick through once a video had passed from its position of prominence as a new item on the walls and it was often here that the real goodies were to be unearthed.

Invariably, we found ourselves drawn to the cheesy and over the top horror films of the Eighties contained within this celluloid wonderland. Here are some of the “classics” that we were fond of back in the day:-

Ghoulies
Basically, like a cheap rip off of Gremlins except gorier and much more toilet-based. I expect we also watched the subsequent and inevitable sequels (including Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College) but my memory seems to have ditched them in favour of far more important things.

Terrorvison
Bizarre horror comedy about a blob-style alien criminal who is accidentally beamed to Earth into a family’s TV. Watched this recently and, in one of the many strange elements of this film, the parents of the family are preparing for an evening of swinging, something that completely passed me by as a youngster

Killer Klowns From Outer Space
Clown-shaped aliens arrive in their big top-shaped spaceship and start bumping off the inhabitants of a local town in various clown-themed ways. I have to admit, the grotesque clown designs for the aliens are suitably horrible and still look creepy even today (not IT-creepy but close).

Critters
Another Gremlins-style film in which furry little aliens from outer space go on a toothy feeding frenzy. Like a lot of these films, it makes up for its lack of real quality with a sort of goofy and silly charm. Interesting Fact:- The director of Critters went on to direct Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

These are just a few of the delights currently available in your local video shop sometime in the eighties. And remember, if you do rent any of these, be kind and rewind before you take it back.


* Unless they were getting rid of knackered old copies of something that nobody wanted anymore.