Inside Out / Outside In

I’m not really a “people person”. I realise that makes me sound like quite the misanthrope but that’s not really what I mean. Naturally, I love spending time with my friends and I’ll laugh, joke and join in at a social situation but, given the choice, I’d rather not talk to people that I don’t know (and very, very occasionally, I’d rather not talk to people I do know). If you were to bump into me on the street (without knowing me) and attempt to engage me in conversation, chances are that my response would be brief, closed off and not invite further conversation. Taxi drivers will most definitely always get a perfunctory response designed to dissuade further discourse. I’m aware that this can make me seem rude or stand-off-ish. I’m not being rude - what I am is an introvert.

There are some pretty common misconceptions about introverts and extroverts. Introversion is generally seen to equate to being quiet and shy (and often with slightly negative connotations - “not fun”) where extraversion equates to loud (with the connotation being that they’re fun). I can be fairly lively in a group - I can even get the urge to get up and show off in front of a group of people sometimes. No one is ever entirely one thing or another but these extrovert behaviours don’t make me any less of an introvert.

It’s all about how I process the world. I like to internalise. I’m more often than not deep inside in my own head rather than fully engaged in the world around me. Sometimes I chose to spend that time inside and sometimes I struggle to break free from the pattern of retreating within. 

As I said above, I love spending time with my friends. I am, however, equally happy spending time on my own, doing things that amuse me and me alone*. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I need that time by myself to help keep me sane. I guess that can come across as selfish and self-absorbed and maybe it is to an extent. I have a friend who is very similar to me in a number of ways and he put it very well the other day:- “extroverts gain energy from being in the presence of others, introverts expend energy while in the presence of others”. I like that. Again, it’s not to say that one is negative and one is positive but, for me anyway, if I spend a lot of time with other people, I need time by myself to recharge.

So if there are times where I don’t seem particularly engaged, it just means that, much like an Apple product, I’ve reached my limit and need to be left plugged into the mains for a while. I’m not ignoring you.

Oh, except for you. I think you’re a bit of a prick.**


* Now, now, mind out of the gutter, please. Filthbag.

** Hey, come on, that was relatively sincere for once. I’ve got to deflate it a bit at the end somehow. We can talk about my “humour as defence mechanism” another time, OK?