Sunday, 4 September 2011

Letter To My Newly Arrived Nephew

Dear Evan,

Hello, it's Uncle Nick again. Yep, head-wrong-way-up uncle, that's right. Just a quick one, really, to say welcome to the world. The bad news is that you don't get to go back in to that comfy, snug little room you've had all to yourself for the last nine months and you do have to stay in this bright place with all the big blobby things looming at you where you have to use your lungs and do breathing and stuff. Yeah, sorry about that.

The good news is that you've got a big old family that will love you and protect and care for you and, in all likelihood, spoil you absolutely rotten. Trust me, That Nephew Fella, this is a pretty damn good option.

We haven't actually met yet as I inconsiderately booked my holiday before I knew you were going to be born. I know, it's disgraceful uncling behaviour. Don't worry, I know when your birthday is now so you'll at least get a birthday card by Christmas from now onwards.

I'll be meeting you very soon. Try not to be too scared by the beard; the shiny glittering glasses and shiny, glittering head should keep you entranced, though, so focus on those.

Loads of love,
Uncle Baldy