Nurse Gladys And Mary Ellen Baines - Part The Third

Mary Ellen Baines had been exposed and humiliated and, with an urge for revenge worthy of a Mafia don burning inside her, she plotted her retribution. Said retribution was to be confectionery based in nature...

On a regular basis, the Baines family brought their beloved (or at least fondly tolerated) Mary Ellen a packet of lovely biscuits to help ease the time in this medical Bastille to which, in all likelihood, they had probably consigned her. Now, as you are probably expecting, these packets of biscuits started to disappear. The Bainesian accusatory finger was pointed squarely at Nurse Gladys who, quite clearly, "had it in for her". The family naturally sided with their beloved relative (or simply went along with her as they were all in favour of the quite life - one of the two). Once again, Nurse Gladys was performing her Columbo impression in full investigative mode.

A fresh packet of biscuits was delivered. That night, Nurse Gladys mounted a fresh vigil on her determined nemesis. Again, once she was convinced that she was unobserved, Mary Ellen Baines sallied forth from her bed once more and, armed with the newly acquired biscuit packet, snuck her way over the line cupboard, secreting the aforementioned confection within.

Nana was no one's fool. She'd tried the confrontation route and this had yielded no results. It was time to play the woman at her own game. Nurse Gladys waited until Mary Ellen Baines had returned to her bed, let her drift off to bed and then made her move...

The next day, once again the family Baines were firmly ensconced at the bedside. As per the newly established routine, biscuit-based accusations began to fly. The packet had vanished and the evil that was Nurse Gladys was definitely to blame. My grandmother begged to differ. Was dear, sweet Mary Ellen sure that the biscuits were gone? Had they checked everywhere? Of course she was sure, insisted the Baines woman, did Nurse Gladys think she was insane? Not at all, assured Nurse Gladys, but she was really sure that she'd checked the bedside table?

Naturally they had, claimed the bed-bound one, of course they'd checked there. Well, how about the bed, maybe under he pillows, suggested Nurse Gladys. If they hadn't checked there then they hadn't checked everywhere.

And so the pillows were duly lifted and, yes, Nurse Gladys' move in their chess game was revealed. For there, under the pillows, was an open packet of biscuits, crumbs akimbo. The family were suitably apologetic for besmirching a hard-working nurse's good name and, from henceforth, Mary Ellen Baines' Gladys-baiting shenanigans were not given the credence they once were. For this was Nurse Gladys' domain and woe betide anyone who tried to usurp her...