WatchSeeLookView At The LFF 2019 - Intermission: Questioners & Answerers

(Well, I say intermission but, at this point, the festival itself is over. However, I've been to enough films to keep this going for some time so strap in - we've got a ways to go yet. In the meantime, here's a little palette cleanser...)

One of the staples of both screenings at the BFI in general and the London Film Festival are Q&A sessions with the creatives behind the film - usually the director / writer but often the on-screen talent as well. Over the last few years, I’ve been to a fair few of these and I do enjoy them. I’m always fascinated in the “how” when it comes to films so I’ll definitely be drawn to a Q&A. That said, though, there is a part of the Q&A that regularly provokes a creeping sense of dread in me. It's the part of the session where the interviewer says, “And now I think we’ve got time for a few questions from the audience.”

This can sometimes produce some gems and it’s not always a bad thing but I have begun to notice certain types of questioner who always pop up. Maybe not all of them at once but one or two are always in there. Below then is my handy-dandy guide (warning if you're on the receiving end) to the types of Q&A-er you can expect to encounter…

• The “Potted Biographer” - this person doesn’t really have a question as such; they’re relishing the chance to get hold of the microphone so they can relay some interminable anecdote about their own life
• The “Aren’t I Clever?” - again, not necessarily a question here but a long-winded pointing out of the bleeding obvious in order to demonstrate to the director/writer just how much they got it; actual question usually results in an answer from said director/writer that doesn’t amount to much more than “yes, you’re right”.
• The “All Over The Shop - the less coherent cousin of the “Aren’t I Clever?” in that they’re clearly trying to make a deep and meaningful point whilst also having absolutely no idea what they’re saying; normally forces the director/writer to construct their own question in order to have something to answer
• The “Explain it To Me” - the complete flipside to the “Aren’t I Clever?”; points out that they’ve noticed symbolism in the film then asks the director/writer to be bluntly explicit about what it all means. The director/writer’s answer is always polite but firmly translates as being told to “eff off”.
• The “Nitpicking Pensioner” - focuses on an inconsequential detail then somehow believes that they’re entitled to a long back and forth conversation about a detail that means absolutely nothing to anyone else.
• The “Awkward Insulter” - normally someone with very poor social skills who misunderstands the difference between banter with your friends and being rude to someone you’ve never met before in the mistaken belief that they are being funny.

Of course there are thoughtful and interesting questions that do delight and interest the panleist but there are always one or two of these knocking about. So beware - if you’re ever tempted into Qing in the hope of an A, always do your level best not to fall into one of the above pitfalls. You run the risk of making an entire audience inwardly groan...